We’ll Go Ahead; The Steam Will Come Later: An Intergenerational Journey in Family Businesses

Last week, an online meeting I had with a management consultant in Human Resources revived many questions that had been circling in my mind. Because of his experience and his closeness to the family, this consultant had been asked to assess several young members of a family’s current group. He spent a whole day with each of them and prepared a report.

When I learned this during the meeting, I noticed the consultant’s discomfort. He stated that acting solely on such an assessment would not be the right approach, and that the work’s framework needed to be broadened and supported with assessment-center practices. While I appreciated the consultant’s measured stance, I once again saw how impatient families can be—and how much they want a quick prescription.

When families think about the next generation for the business, they always ask the same question: “Will this child make it?”

That question is, in fact, the wrong starting point.

Yes, when we spend time with individuals and conduct Q&A sessions, we can form an opinion about their contributions to the work, their motivation, and their level of command in certain areas. Among several people, we can point to the one who seems more suitable. But that is merely taking a snapshot. What happened before? What will happen after? Are they continuing within an established system? These questions explain why the “quick prescription” approach—trying to identify the right person early by writing a diagnosis—makes me uneasy.

The Wrong Question, the Right Perspective

When it comes to young people who may enter leadership in family businesses, families almost demand a prescription—as if the young person standing before them were an unchanging statue. Yet attempting to define, with absolute certainty, the potential of someone who has just left adolescence and is about to start university, is still in university, or has just graduated but lacks sufficient business-world experience, is to ignore their development journey.

My twenty-five years of consulting experience show that many young people who were once labeled “not suitable” in their twenties became the most valuable leaders in their families’ companies in their thirties. And the reverse also happens: early “rising stars” can be crushed under the weight of the roles assigned to them.

The point is not to select an heir. The point is to raise the next generation who will play an active role—note this carefully: I am not speaking about managing a department, but about roles at the board level—in the governance of the company and the family’s assets after you.

The Generational Gap: Different Speeds on the Same Road

The education system develops young people at school, high school, and university. Families evaluate a young person through their academic performance and behavior, filtered through their own life experience and upbringing. At that stage, parents’ primary responsibility is to meet the child’s needs and provide an environment in which the child can grow. Preparing for the future business world is generally not a top priority—and they are right.

But I’m sure thoughts still pass through their minds about what that young person will be like in the business world. Both academic performance and behavior are continuously “screened” by parents. Inevitably, comments emerge such as “How will this ever become successful?” or “This child would do very well in that field.”

In fact, during high school and university years, it is possible to introduce age-appropriate business concepts and help young people warm up to the world of work. But the biggest obstacle we encounter while doing so is generational differences.

The current and next generations embark on a journey together. Yet the two generations cannot carry out this journey through shared daily work. Why?

Because:

• Their understanding is different
• Their perspectives are different
• What they want to do is different
• Their expectations of each other are different
• Family communication creates barriers on the business side.

Traditional methods then take over: the young person is handed over to certain professionals with a mindset of “Eti senin, kemiği benim”—literally, “The flesh is yours, the bones are mine,” a Turkish expression meaning parents entrust their child to someone else for discipline and development. Or they are forced to follow the same paths the current generation once followed.

Yet the young person’s expectations may be entirely different. And the modern business world is now saying other things as well.

Building a Common Language

In our work, the critical point we signal to families is this: the two sides need to establish a common language—an alignment language. This is precisely why, through a family-specific “academy” approach, building that common language becomes possible.

When we address this at SPALDA Academy, we place the establishment of an alignment language at the center of the work. Because once that language is in place, the young person no longer spends their daily work reporting and “accounting for” themselves to the current generation… Within a system, they carry out on-the-job assignments and can work more independently, knowing that outcomes will be shared with governance.

Global approaches support this as well: 70–75% practice-based learning. But families must structure that practice appropriately for the young person’s age and help them truly understand the work.

The more “controlled” the coming together between the two sides, the less damage it causes to the young person’s development. Although it sounds paradoxical, controlled proximity produces healthier results.

Walking the Road Together

The approach I recommend to families is this: instead of trying to “raise” the young person through a process you design from the outside, structure the space in which they understand the work, learn, and move within a healthy flow. Then walk that road together with them.

Academic research shows that the accuracy rate of young people’s career choices when selecting a university and major is relatively low. In a world rapidly transformed by technology, decisions made too early often lead to misleading outcomes.

As someone who has worked with young people for many years, my observation is this: taking responsibility and demonstrating potential becomes more stable and healthy as age and experience increase. Many young people who do not show potential early on go through a remarkable transformation once they discover their area of interest.

For that reason, to be able to walk the road together with young people, the following are critical:

• Creating environments they will enjoy being in
• Helping them understand the business world through gamification techniques
• Offering flexible, alternative paths
• Translating work outputs into a language that the current generation can understand

Risk Management and Diversification

I recommend avoiding questions such as “Who is more ready?” or “Whom should we prepare?” Why?

Life has shown us painful examples. In major companies in our country, many young people who were being prepared as heirs could not assume that role for unexpected reasons—death, illness, personal decisions. Building an entire plan on a single person is highly dangerous from a risk-management perspective.

Instead:

• Keep all next-generation members in the system (whether there is one person or ten)
• Develop all of them with equal importance
• Even if they never join the company, enable them to become conscious parents who will raise the next generation of shareholders
• Rather than separating them into “useful / not useful” through instant assessments, design a long-term development process

We’ll Go Ahead; The Steam Will Come Later

According to a story, an Ottoman sultan plans to set sail from Dolmabahçe on the second day after taking office. But the ship is not moving. Growing impatient, the sultan calls the captain:

• “Why aren’t we departing?”
• “My Sultan, we are waiting for the steam. Once the steam builds, we will depart immediately.”

Not knowing what steam is, the sultan gives his famous reply:

• “Then we’ll go ahead; the steam will come later!”

The remark of someone who does not understand the system of a steam-powered ship actually tells us a great deal.

For the sustainability of family businesses, we must first understand what the “steam” is. Without grasping the system, impatiently saying “let’s go” can produce destructive consequences for both the current and the next generation.

Intergenerational transition is not a choice—it is a long journey to be walked together. On this journey, patience, understanding, and a systematic approach are as essential as the steam itself.